I am a mom...

I've never written a blog post before.  I don't have a clue what I'm doing.  And I'm absolute rubbish at starting a story in the middle.  But that's what I'm going to attempt to do.

I am a mom.  This isn't meant to yield commentary on my own identity, worth, or existence.  I like me.  I like me independently of other people, including my rad husband and wicked awesome daughter, independently of my career, and even independently of my dress size or the state of my toenails (currently navy blue and chip free).  I think I was cool before I was a mom.  I think I'll be cool as a mom.  I was happy before I was a mom.  I'm happy (and intend to continue to be happy) as a mom.

Did I mention I'm a mom?

I have been for 15 days.  I'm 32 and 11/12 and I've been married for 11 and 11/12 years.  This - motherhood - shouldn't come as such a shock to me.  I've been hoping and praying for this opportunity for the eight years Hubsters and I have been trying (Hubsters, AKA 22, Tiger, Sugarfoot, Dice, Shredder, and more of such inside joke nicknames than I can probably recount).  I won't get into the failed fertility treatments, the fact that, in my mid 20's I had the egg quality of a much more "mature" woman (Betty White style), or the heartbreak of IVF.  I won't relate here the strong "no" answer we received when praying about trying further fertility treatments.  I won't even explain to you the progress of our going from wondering if we should adopt, to wanting a "closed adoption," to attending an adoption seminar that opened our eyes to the beauty and blessing of an open adoption.  Heck, I won't even tell you what an unbelievable turning point it was in our minds when we met with the girl who would become our birth mother (AKA FaveGirl) and immediately we developed a real understanding of the abounding, selfless, unconditional love that birth moms have for their children and their adoptive couples, and the love we have for them.

Suffice it to say that four weeks to the day after we met with our birth mom, 22 and I became parents to this incredible little angel.  And boy, is she ever stuck with us because we are in crazy, stupid, complete love with this kiddo.

Born July 16th, 2012 at 3:45 PM.  5 lbs 11 oz, 18.5 inches long.  And cuter than you can imagine.  I was there for the delivery, and it was awe-inspiring.  (Though, in the interest of full disclosure, during the moments I watched her be born, I thought, what is wrong with her head?  She looked a little Pharaoh, if you know what I mean...)

When I held her only a few minutes after she was cleaned up, I was all in.  Love at first sight.

Hubsters giving a rare actual grin.  Baby Girl...well, she's probably pooping.

Day two in my arms.  Sigh.

Her first glam shot in the hospital.  Ha!

So, after all this, did I actually start in the middle or just explain to you the ways in which I wouldn't start at the beginning?  Well, deal with it.  I have mom brain now.  And I love it.